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April Fool's Day/Transcript
Scene 1: The Boarding House Kitchen :(GRANDPA runs in the kitchen where ARNOLD is eating. A hatchet is in his eye with fake blood coming down.) GRANDPA :Oh, mercy, Arnold! There’s been a terrible accident, and oh, April Fools’! :(ARNOLD wipes away the cereal from his sweater as Grandpa pulls off the prosthetic, revealing it as a prank.) ARNOLD :You got me, Grandpa. :(GRANDMA comes in happily) GRANDMA :Oh, Happy Groundhog’s day, everybody. Yippee! I saw my shadow — and you know what that means! GRANDPA :We know, Pookie... BOTH :(Monotone) Twelve more days of Christmas. GRANDMA :Oh, isn’t it exciting! Well, I’ll be upstairs. I’ve got presents to wrap. :JINGLE BELLS JINGLE BELLS JINGLE ALL THE WAY... GRANDPA :Ah, Spring. The fresh air, the flowers. Hey Arnold, smell my boutonnière. April Fool’s! :(GRANDPA squirts ARNOLD with a plastic flower) ARNOLD :Good one, Grandpa. Funny. GRANDPA :Sorry, Arnold. Couldn’t resist. No more jokes now. Eat your eggs. :(GRANDPA puts a plate of eggs down in front of ARNOLD. ARNOLD tries to cut them, but can't) GRANDPA :Rubber eggs. April Fools’! ARNOLD :Grandpa... GRANDPA :Aww, come on, Short Man. It’s April Fools’ Day. Don’t you want to play a prank on someone? ARNOLD :No thanks, Grandpa. I’m not really into the April Fool’s jokes. GRANDPA :Oh, that’s crazy talk, Arnold. Everyone loves April Fools’. Let’s see here. Oh, here it is! The granddaddy of all April Fools’ pranks. (GRANDPA shows ARNOLD a small purple box with red ribbon around it.) :Try this one on your little classmates today, Arnold. I once tried it on my friend Jimmy Kafka. Told him it was a late birthday present but when you open it, a blinding light goes off! It’s a riot! ARNOLD :No thanks, Grandpa. I just don’t think anybody at school is really into April Fools’ Day. Scene 2: PS 118 hallways :(It turns out the whole school is into April Fools' Day! A goat runs out of the building. PEAPOD KID chews a piece of gum while HAROLD watches. PEAPOD KID gags and the gum turns out to be a trick piece of gum.) HAROLD :April Fools’! :(RHONDA is seen acting like she's about to kiss CURLY. Instead she smacks him) RHONDA :April Fools’! :(EUGENE trips and falls) EUGENE :Woah! SHEENA :April Fools’! EUGENE :Heh, heh. Good one, Sheena. ARNOLD :Wow! I guess everyone’s really into April Fools’ Day! GERALD :No kidding, Arnold. We’ve got to get in on this action! ARNOLD :I dunno, Gerald. I’m just really not into it. I’m too... GERALD :I know: trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind. In fact, you’re the perfect target for an April Fools’ joke. :(ARNOLD smiles at his friend, opens his locker and is hit by a punching glove on a spring) HELGA :April Fools’, Football head! ARNOLD :Good one, Helga. HELGA :Get used to it, Bucko, cause you’re gonna get it all day long! :(ARNOLD glares at HELGA) Scene 3: Mr. Simmons' classroom :(STUDENTS chatter and HELGA walks into the classroom. She drops a small sound box in ARNOLD's chair. Suddenly, PRINCIPAL WARTZ runs in the classroom, hysterically) WARTZ :Students, quiet! Please, settle down! I have some very serious news. Your beloved teacher, Mr. Simmons, is no longer with us because he was run over by an enormous steamroller! Ah! Egad! It’s his ghost! :(MR. SIMMONS stands up from behind his desk, eerily. His face is pale and he's holding a flashlight. The rest of the class just stares, not acting the least bit nervous.) SIMMONS :Ooooohhhh. April Fools’, everybody! It’s not my ghost — it’s just me! (wipes off chalk) RHONDA :That was so lame! SIMMONS :Thank you, Principal Wartz, for that very special introduction. WARTZ :Let’s make it an annual tradition, Mr. Simmons. Carry on. SIMMONS :Oh, class! We’re having our first annual April Fools’ dance tonight at the YMAA gym. Principal Wartz and I both will be there as chaperones, and I’ll be crowing one lucky student the King of Fools. Eugene, would you mind distributing the flyers? EUGENE :I’d be honored! I really hope you all will come and vote for me. I think I’d make a wonderful King of Fools. (CURLY trips EUGENE) :Ow! I’m okay. :(HELGA casually drops her pencil near ARNOLD's desk.) HELGA :Hey, Arnoldo, pick up my pencil! :(ARNOLD gets up and leans down to get HELGA's pencil. HELGA pushes a button and a farting noise comes from the sound box. Everyone laughs and points at ARNOLD) HAROLD :Ar-nold farted! HELGA :April Fools’, Football Head! STINKY :Willikers, Sid. This school’s just chock-full of pranks. SID :I know! This room is tough! We gotta think of a prank that beats them all, or be ashamed. STINKY :Yeah — a huge, whopping, super-prank! SID :Hey, what if we pulled one at the big dance that Mr. Simmons was going on about. STINKY :That’s a great idea, Sid! Tonight, where everybody can see! SID :Now all we gotta do is think up a prank! :(STINKY opens his desk and shows SID a turtle) STINKY :Maybe we can do something involving my pet turtle Snappy. He’s a passel of laughs. (SNAPPY snaps at SID. SID yelps and pulls back) Careful, Sid. He really bites. :(In between classes, CURLY dismantles one of the ringing school bells and laughs dementedly.) Scene 4: Cafeteria ARNOLD :I hope Helga’s finished playing April Fools’ jokes on me. :(ARNOLD sits down on a plate of chocolate pudding. EVERYONE in the cafeteria laughs) HELGA :April Fools’, Football Head. Look at him! What a loser! HAROLD :Time to change your diapers, Ar-nold! GERALD :Hmm, mm, mm. Arnold, she’s gonna be at it all day. She said so herself. Face it man: it is time to retaliate! ARNOLD :You’re right! I’ll be back. :(ARNOLD leaves) Scene 5: PS 118 hallway :(ARNOLD calls GRANDPA on a payphone) ARNOLD :Hello, Grandpa? GRANDPA :Hello. ACME plumbing. ARNOLD :Huh? Oh, sorry, I must have... GRANDPA :April Fools’! ARNOLD :Grandpa... GRANDPA :Sorry, Short Man. I couldn’t resist. You’re just the perfect straight man. ARNOLD :Well, not anymore. I’m calling, because I’ve decided to take you up on your offer after all. GRANDPA :A special offer? We’re not buying any today. Thank you, goodbye. ARNOLD :Grandpa! GRANDPA :April Fools’, Arnold! I can’t stop. ARNOLD :Listen, I’m serious. Remember that little gift box you showed me this morning? GRANDPA :‘Course I do! It’s the granddaddy of all April Fools’ pranks! Oh, don’t tell me! You want to use it on someone? ARNOLD :That’s right! GRANDPA :Oh, I can’t believe it! Oh, this is wonderful! Hold that thought, Arnold. Don’t weaken! I’ll be right down! ARNOLD :And, Grandpa?! Bring me an extra pair of pants. :(GRANDPA pulls off his own pants and holds them up) GRANDPA :Done! Scene 6: Outside PS 118 :(GRANDPA quickly drives by in the Packard, and past ARNOLD) GRANDPA :So, now we’re ready to try it, Mr. “I’m not really into April Fools’ Day”! ARNOLD :Could I just have the box? Please, Grandpa. GRANDPA :What’s that on your pants? Turn around. :(ARNOLD turns around) ARNOLD :It’s chocolate pudding. GRANDPA :Oh, that’s a good one! Old “pudding pants”! Who did it? Let me guess! Your little friend with the one eyebrow? :(ARNOLD turns back around) ARNOLD :Helga, right. Can I have the box? :(GRANDPA gives ARNOLD the box) GRANDPA :Wait until she gets a load of this! She’ll be the one needing an extra pair of pants. And speaking of which, here’s yours. :(GRANDPA holds up his pants) ARNOLD :Uh, Grandpa, those are your pants. GRANDPA :April Fools’! Good luck, Short Man. Scene 7: The Cafeteria :(EUGENE looks in a box, then starts groaning when a mousetrap clamps around his nose) HELGA :Man, talk about gullible. You’re almost as easy to bamboozle as that loser, Arnold! And speaking of which, where is the biggest sap of them all? ARNOLD :Right here, Helga, and I’ve got a present for you. HELGA :Get real, Football Head. Like there’s any way I’m falling for that old gag. ARNOLD :It’s not a gag. It’s a belated birthday present. HELGA :Yeah right! And I’m Mary, Queen of Scots. ARNOLD :I’m serious, Helga. I mean, your birthday was last week, right? HELGA :(Thinking) Oh my gosh! I can’t believe he remembered! (Out loud) Yeah...so? ARNOLD :So, happy belated birthday! (ARNOLD holds up the box) HELGA :(Thinking) Oh, Arnold. My beloved. you’re so kind and good...I solemnly swear, I’ll never play another prank on you again. (Out loud) Well, uh....gee, Arnold. Thanks. :(HELGA opens the box and a giant flash comes out) ARNOLD :April Fools’! :(EVERYONE laughs) HELGA :Help! Help! I’m blind! GERALD :You have to be if you didn’t see that one coming! HELGA :No, you morons! I’m really blind! (we see her eyes, they are teary and unfocused, Arnold gasps, all the KIDS laugh) Scene 8: Outside the Nurse’s Office STINKY :It’s like Mr. Simmons always says: “horseplay always leads to tears”. Scene 9: Inside the Nurse’s Office HELGA :So give it to me straight, lady. Am I going to make it or not? NURSE :You’ll be just fine, Helga. Fortunately, your blindness is only temporary. You should be back among the sighted any second now. (removes bandage from eyes and Helga's vision returns) HELGA :Hey, what do you know. I’m cured. Huh! Well thanks for the miracle. I’ll catch you later. NURSE :Not so fast, Helga! Before I can let you go, you have to promise me you’ll be more careful. HELGA :Me? But this whole thing was Arnold’s fault! Him and his lousy April Fools’ prank. I can’t even believe I trusted him. NURSE :Either way, I want you to ease up on the tomfoolery. The last thing we need is for you to end up with a permanent eye injury. It would be devastating for you...and your little football headed friend. HELGA :Wait a minute. That’s a great idea! I mean, that’s great...advice. From now on “careful” is gonna be my middle name. You can count on it. (HELGA goes towards the door to leave, then stops)''Oh, man. This is gonna be so boss! I’ll pull the biggest April Fools’ prank of all by pretending to still be blind! And Arnold, sentimental sucker he is, will feel so guilty and responsible, he’ll have no choice but to be my slave, my servant, my Seeing Eye dog! I’ll totally torture him. Now all I got to do is sell it. ''(Notices a cane next to the door) Perfect! Scene 10: Outside the Nurse’s Office SID :Boy, howdy. She’s been in there a long time. Bet you must feel pretty guilty right about now, huh, Arnold. ARNOLD :Way to state the obvious, Sid. :(HELGA walks out of the NURSE's office, the cane in hand) PHOEBE :Helga, are you okay? HELGA :Oh, I’m fine, you, know except for the fact I’m still blind. ARNOLD :Helga, I’m so sorry. HELGA :Arnold? Arnold, is that you? (HELGA hits ARNOLD in the head with the cane) It’s so dark. ARNOLD :Yes, it’s me. So, what did the nurse say? I mean, are you going to be all right? How long is this thing going to last? HELGA :You mean my complete and utter lack of eyesight? Oh, you know. Maybe an hour...maybe forever. ARNOLD :Is there anything I can do? HELGA :Well actually, there is. You could walk me home. I figure I should break the sad news to my poor parents as soon as possible. ARNOLD :Sure, no problem. HELGA :Great. I’ll go get my things. :(ARNOLD and HELGA leave together. HELGA hits ARNOLD in the leg with the cane) GERALD :Hmm, mm, mm. That is the saddest thing I have ever seen. RHONDA :Tell me about it. Now she’s even more pathetic than ever. GERALD :I was talking about Arnold. The poor guy could be indebted to Helga G. Pataki for the rest of his life. Scene 11: The sidewalk ARNOLD :Helga, I’m really, really sorry. :(HELGA hits a GUY with her cane) GUY Ow! Dagnabbit! ARNOLD :I never meant for this to happen! HELGA :Aw, don’t sweat it. It’ll all blow over soon, and if not, well, you’ve got the rest of your life to make it up to me. (HELGA tries to continue across a street, but ARNOLD stops her) So what’s the hold up? Why’d we stop? ARNOLD :Intersection. Red light. :(HELGA looks at ARNOLD and fakes a dizziness spell) HELGA :Oh! ARNOLD :Helga, what is it? What’s wrong? HELGA :Uh, nothing. It’s just I’m overwhelmed by all these sounds. They’re making me dizzy. Do you think you could carry me the rest of the street, Arnold? ARNOLD :Carry you? HELGA :On your back. You know, like one of those ponies at the petting zoo. I mean, it’s the least you could do for blinding me, right? :(ARNOLD is seen carrying HELGA on his back. HELGA squirms and pulls at ARNOLD's hair) ARNOLD :Ah! Ow, watch — watch out. Ow, that’s my hair, Helga. :(A cab rushes down the street. HELGA turns to look at it and cries out) HELGA :Arnold! Look out for that cab! (ARNOLD and HELGA tumble safely to the other side of the street) Arnold, are we alive? ARNOLD :We’re fine. HELGA :Phew! Good thing I sa...I mean, smelled that cab coming. ARNOLD :You smelled the cab? HELGA :Yeah, you know how it is when you lose one of your senses. The others just kind of kick into overdrive. Speaking of which, you might want try a stronger deodorant, Football Head. ARNOLD :Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind. HELGA :I don’t know about you but all this excitement’s really made me thirsty. ARNOLD :Well, there’s a drinking fountain over there. HELGA :No dice. I need something hearty. Is there anyplace around here where I can get a milkshake, Arnold? ARNOLD :Well, there’s Slawsons, but it’s on the other side of the street. HELGA :Well then, giddup. Scene 12: Slawson’s Ice Cream Parlor WYATT :Okay, what’ll it be? HELGA :I’ll have an extra large triple chocolate shake, two cherries, no funny stuff. WYATT :That’s an awful big order for such a little girl. You sure your eyes aren’t bigger than your stomach? HELGA :Positive, on account of my friend here has blinded me. ARNOLD :Why don’t you make it two? WYATT :You’re the boss. HELGA :And don’t skimp on the whipped cream okay, Wyatt. Why it...why it’s gotten so very, very warm in here all of a sudden. Well, I’m gonna go sit outside. Be a good sport and pick up the check, would you, Arnold? ARNOLD :Sure... Scene 13: Helga’s House ARNOLD :Well, here we are: your house. HELGA :Thanks, Arnold. I really appreciate all that you’ve done for me, you know, except for the part where you made me go blind. (HELGA intentionally drops her books) Whoops, dropped my books. ARNOLD :Let me get them for you. HELGA :Don’t bother. It’s not like they’re any use to me now that I’m blind. Hey I know! Why don’t you take them? After all, I’m going to need someone to do my homework for me until I learn Braille. ARNOLD :Sure. HELGA :Great. Well, see you later. Oh, wait! I wont, because I’m blind, because of you. Mom! I’m home, and I’m blind! (HELGA slams the door on ARNOLD and peers at him through the mail slot)''Arnold, what a sap, what a sucker. What an April fool. I mean, talk about blind. The guy can’t even see the wool being pulled over his own eyes. Oh well, I guess I’ll just sit back and enjoy a dish of sweet revenge (''Grins evilly). Scene 14: Arnold’s House GRANDMA :Oh, Happy Groundhog’s Day, Arnold. You’re just in time to open presents. ARNOLD :Maybe later, Grandma. GRANDPA :So, how’d the prank go, Arnold? Was it a big hit? ARNOLD :No, Grandpa, it was terrible! Helga went blind! GRANDPA :So? What’s so terrible about that? Sounds like a total success? Heck, I nearly wet my pants when the same thing happened to Jimmy Kafka. ARNOLD :What?! Grandpa, why didn’t you tell me? GRANDPA :What? That I wet my pants? Well that’s no big news. ARNOLD :No, that the prank could cause blindness? GRANDPA :Arnold, I did. I said it had a “blinding flash”. ARNOLD :I can’t believe this is happening. GRANDPA :Oh, don’t worry, Short Man. If Helga has Jimmy’s luck, she should have her sight back...eventually. Meanwhile, you should do something nice to make it up to her. (GRANDPA notices the April Fools' Dance flyer) Hey, I know! Why don’t you take her to this April Fools’ dance? ARNOLD :Grandpa, what good will that do? GRANDPA :It’ll be fun! It’ll take her mind off the horrible situation. You know, the fact that you blinded her. ARNOLD :Well, I guess it couldn’t hurt. GRANDPA :Unless she falls down and breaks her hip. Scene 15: Helga and Arnold on the Phone :(HELGA is sitting on the recliner, watching wrestling. The phone rings and she picks it up) HELGA :Hello? ARNOLD :Helga? It’s Arnold. HELGA :Arnold! I mean, how are things in the sighted world, Football Head? ARNOLD :Fine. The reason I called was, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the April Fools’ dance with me. HELGA :You mean like a “blind date” or something? ARNOLD :Uh, I guess you could call it that. HELGA :All right, Arnold. If it’ll ease your guilty conscience. But it better be first class all the way — nothing on the cheap, you got me? ARNOLD :It won’t be, I promise. HELGA :Good. I’m glad we’re seeing eye to eye, you know figuratively speaking, since I’m blind. ARNOLD :Right. I’ll pick you up at seven. Bye. :(HELGA hangs up the phone) HELGA :Ha! Forget about Eugene being crowned King of Fools. At this rate, Arnold’s the shoe in for victory. And when I’m done with him, he’ll wish he never tried to beat me at my own game. Scene 16: Outside the YMAA GRANDMA :Toyland — Everybody out! Next stop: North Pole. Scene 17: Inside the YMAA HELGA :Watch your back, watch your back! Blind girl coming through! HAROLD :Look at Helga! SID :Boy howdy! Look at her! STINKY :Yeah. She looks even blinder than before! RHONDA :I realize she’s blind and everything, but her outfit!? I mean, there’s really no excuse. SIMMONS :Attention, everyone! Welcome to the most special dance of the year: our first ever April Fools’ dance! And remember, later tonight, we’ll be crowning the King of Fools so don’t forget to cast your vote. :(EUGENE is standing near the refreshment table talking to RHONDA) EUGENE :I really hope I can count on your vote. I think I’m a natural born King of Fools, don’t you? RHONDA :Truthfully? I couldn’t care less. EUGENE :April Fools’? RHONDA :No, Eugene. No April Fools’. EUGENE :Oh. ARNOLD :Hey, Helga. I brought you some punch. HELGA :About time. Now hand it over! :(HELGA intentionally knocks the cup from ARNOLD's hand and spills it on his suit and her hand) ARNOLD :Ah! HELGA :Nice going. You spilled punch on my hands. Oh well, guess I’ll just wipe them off with this towel. :(HELGA grabs ARNOLD's hair) ARNOLD :Ow, that’s my hair, Helga. :(HELGA releases ARNOLD) SIMMONS :Okay, people. Time to come on the floor and dance to a special April Fools’ Day song played backwards. ARNOLD :Are the sighted people out there dancing and having fun? ARNOLD Yes. HELGA :That...that must be nice. ARNOLD :Helga, would you like to dance? HELGA :Sure, what the heck. GERALD :Mm, mm, mm. Arnold dragging a blind Helga around the YMAA gym floor to backwards disco music. Now I’ve seen everything. PHOEBE :It is a rather extraordinary situation. Scene 18: In the Girl’s Room STINKY :Easy there, fella. No snapping. SID :At least not yet. :(They put SNAPPY in a toilet.) Scene 19: On the Dance Floor ARNOLD :(Thinking) Oh, man, I really hate this. HELGA :(Thinking) Oh, man, do I love this or what? I’m actually dancing cheek to cheek with Arnold! He’s holding me tight. His hair smells yummy. Oh, who am I kidding? (HELGA hugs ARNOLD tightly) I love this guy! Maybe I should stop torturing him. Nah, this is way too much fun. :(HELGA spins ARNOLD into EUGENE who falls over the table) ARNOLD :Ah! EUGENE :Woah! I’m not okay. PHOEBE :Oh my. Eugene! Should I call a doctor? EUGENE :April Fools’! I’m okay! HELGA :Well I’m not okay! Where’s the dumb football head that blinded me for life? ARNOLD :I’m right here, Helga. HELGA :Take me to the can, Jeeves. I’m about to explode! GERALD :Now there’s a lovely image. Scene 20: Outside the Girl’s Room ARNOLD :Uh, here we are, Helga. The girls’ room. Can you take it from here? HELGA :Fine! I’ll grope my way into the stall. Thanks for nothing. Scene 21: Inside the Girls’ Room HELGA :Phew! Alone at last. :(A stall opens and PHOEBE walks out) :Phoebe! Geez, don’t scare me like that! PHOEBE :Helga? You can see me? Is your eyesight returning? HELGA :Phoebe, I’m not blind! I can see everything! PHOEBE :Oh, my! HELGA :And I can especially see Arnold falling for the greatest April Fools’ joke in history. I totally have him fooled, the fool. He’s the one who’s blind. PHOEBE :Gosh, Helga. I’m amazed. I mean I’m actually...impressed. It’s a brilliant April Fools’ prank. :(GERALD listens via vent) HELGA :Pretty good huh? I mean, I’m chumping everybody. It’s easy as pie. And you wanna know why? Because the people that we hang out with are lamebrains and saps and the biggest lamebrain is Arnold. I can’t wait to see the look on his idiotic face when I break the news to him. There’s just one more dance to go and then it’s time to announce the King of Fools. But until then, mums the word, got it? PHOEBE :Mumming. Scene 22: In the Girls’ Bathroom SID :Uh oh. I heard a flush but no “ow”. STINKY :Looks like the joke’s on us, Sid, on account of Snappy’s been flushed down the terlet. Oh this really bites. :(STINKY starts crying) Scene 23: On the Dance Floor GERALD :Guess what, man. Helga’s faking. She’s totally pretending she’s blind. ARNOLD :Pretending? Helga? GERALD :I just heard her tell Phoebe the whole thing. She said you’re a lamebrain and a sap and a chump. ARNOLD :So she thinks I’m a lamebrain and a sap, huh? GERALD :And a chump. Maybe it’s time you give Helga G. Pataki a taste of her own medicine. ARNOLD :Gerald, I think you’re thinking what I’m thinking. (GERALD whispers to ARNOLD) That’s even better than what I was thinking. SIMMONS :All right, people. It’s time to tango. :(MR. SIMMONS and PRINCIPAL WARTZ start to tango) ARNOLD :Oh, there you are, Helga. Just in time for the tango. HELGA :Bring it on, Football Head. Let’s cut a rug. (ARNOLD leads HELGA out onto the dance floor where he whips her around) Huh, hu! Scene 24: Supply Room :(GERALD looks around and sees a button that opens the pool) Scene 25: On the Dance Floor :(ARNOLD and HELGA are still dancing. ARNOLD pulls HELGA close and stares at her) ARNOLD :It must be strange not to be able to see anything, anything at all. HELGA :It is. It’s very... (ARNOLD dips HELGA roughly) Arnold, you’re being kinda rough! ARNOLD :Don’t worry my poor blind friend. You’re in good hands. Scene 26: Underground :(SNAPPY comes out of the sewer and walks down a dark hallway) Scene 27: On the Dance Floor :(GERALD pushes the button and the dance floor starts to open, revealing the pool underneath) STINKY :Um, fellas. Is it just me, or is the floor moving? :(ARNOLD remains dancing with HELGA) ARNOLD :Helga, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. HELGA :There is? Funny, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you too. :(HELGA whips ARNOLD out and he hits SHEENA) SHEENA :Ow! ARNOLD :Yeah. I’ve just been waiting, waiting for the right moment. HELGA :So have I. SIMMONS :People, attention. We’ve counted all the votes and the first ever King of Fools is... :(HELGA dances away from ARNOLD, pulls off her sunglasses and points at him) HELGA :You, Arnold! :(ARNOLD grabs HELGA's arm, pulls her close, dips her, then spins her out over the pool) ARNOLD :Actually, it’s you, Helga! :(HELGA falls into the pool) HELGA :Ahh! ARNOLD :April fools’! :(MR. SIMMONS looks around, befuddled) SIMMONS :Actually, Eugene is the King of Fools. EUGENE :Me? Oh my gosh? It’s an honor just to be nominated. You’re all winners guys! :(EUGENE walks up and PRINCIPAL WARTZ AND MR. SIMMONS crown him and place a robe on him) SIMMONS :HERE HE COMES! HE'S THE KING OF FOOLS HE'S EUGENE, FROM OUR VERY OWN SCHOOL :(EUGENE doesn't watch where he's going and falls into the pool) EUGENE :Woah! HAROLD :Hey! Where’d Eugene and Helga go? Huh? :(ARNOLD stands at the edge of the pool as HELGA surfaces and stares at him) ARNOLD :Joke’s on you this time, Helga! I know you’re not blind! HELGA :All right, fine. You win. The least you could do is help me out of here. :(ARNOLD leans down and offers HELGA a hand. HELGA pulls ARNOLD into the pool) ARNOLD :Ah! HELGA :Gotcha again, Football head. :(EVERYONE in the gym start pushing each other into the pool. PRINCIPAL WARTZ pushes MR. SIMMONS in) WARTZ :What the heck? April fools’ Simmons. (BRAINY pushes PRINCIPAL WARTZ in) Woah! :(HELGA laughs with RHONDA and then suddenly screams) HELGA :Ow! Ow! :(She crawls out of the pool, Snappy bitting her) STINKY :Snappy? :(STINKY pulls SNAPPY off HELGA) SID :Snappy, you’re alive! STINKY :He made it though the terlet after all. Hey, wait a minute. If Snappy got flushed down the terlet and ended up here, then what the heck are we swimming in? :(SID screams and throws his arms around STINKY's neck) SID :Ah! Let’s get out of here! EUGENE :(Underwater) Gosh! This is the best April Fools’ Day ever! Source * http://rover_wow.tripod.com/afd.htm Category:April Fool's Day Category:Episode transcripts